Self-disclosure is the process of letting others know what you think, feel, and want. It is revealing to another how you are reacting to the situation and sharing experiences that are relevant to that situation.’ By revealing information abont yourself, others with whon you associate are better able to understand what makes you tick—your motivations, fears work style, strengths, and weaknesses. This knowledge helps others to determine strate¬gies for working effectively with you. In addition, as you self-disclose, others reciprocate enabling you to better develop strategies for understanding and working effectively with them. To be effective, self-disclosure includes these elements.

1. Feelings more than facts—When you share your feelings about or reactions to others, let them get to know the real you. Saying you have three co-workers is interesting information, but revealing the kind of relationship you have with them helps others get tc know you better.
2. Greater breadth and depth over time—Have you ever cared about someone but felt uncomfortable sharing your feelings? In order for self-disclosure to facilitate building a relationship, it has to grow gradually in depth (becoming more revealing about your feel­ings toward a particular issue or set of issues) and breadth (expanding discussion to cove more issues, such as work, family, leisure, and religious beliefs).
3. A focus on the present rather than the past—While sharing about your past might help explain why you behave the way you do, it is not advisable to share all your past skeletons. Doing so might feel cathartic, but it also might leave you feeling vulnerable, especially if this disclosure is not reciprocated. Stay in the present.
4. Reciprocity—To the degree possible, try to match the level of self-disclosure offered by people with whom you become acquainted. Be careful not to overdisclose pre maturely, before the relationship has had time to build familiarity and trust. At the same time, if others are npt forthcoming, it is not necessary to hold out until they self-disclose. Don’t be afraid to take the first important step to building a relationship. Lead by exam­ple, and others will follow suit. If they don’t, pull back.